Marriage Questionaire

Stolen from Denise who stole it from someone else...

How long have you been married? 10 years in March.

How long did you date for? 2 and 1/2 weeks before we were engaged, and a total of about 3 and a half months before we were married.

How old are you? 27 until Sunday

Who eats more? He does...unless it's sweets/chocolate, but I've been a good girl lately.

Who said I love you first? Don't know...probably him, the old romantic sweetie that he is.

Who is taller? He is. (6'2" to my 5'8")

Who sings better? I think I can carry a tune better and have better rhythm(vocally, not dancing. Don't ask me to dance.), but he has a nice voice.

Who is smarter? Hmmm...depends on the subject. But I think we're both pretty smart, on occasion. ;) And I will TOTALLY give him Math. But I get English(that's pretty sad...haven't you been reading my blog?).

Who has a worse temper? I have red hair and periods. What else can I say? But he does have his "time of the month" moments too.

Who does the laundry and the dishes? I do the most, but he is no slouch and will do a load or two quite often.

Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? Me. It's closer to the bathroom. I have spent many many years of our marriage pregnant. (sick and later on with the baby-trampoline bladder.)

Who pays the bills? Gotta quote Denise, "I pay them, with his money."

Who mows the lawn? Again, gotta agree with Denise, although we don't have a riding lawnmower, I know he'd love one. But yes, I refuse to do it because it will become my job too, same as the garbage. At least I managed to avoid being the main garbage taker-outer for about the first 7 years.

Who cooks dinner? Usually him. I'll go through stages when I'll plan meals several days in advance and actually buy the food beforehand. But then we go back to my genius chef hubby whipping something together out of what I thought was nothing...and it's delish. He's too good at it, so I *let* him... He fell for that "don't mow the lawn/take out the garbage" thing. Too many years of me being sickly prego (be near food? Barf. Smell food? Barf. Think about food? Barf.) And when he'd get home from work it was usually dinner time and he had two choices: a) start or finish up dinner or b) take care of the rugrats while I do dinner. He usually picked "a" because it was "easier".

Who drives when you are together? He does if I have to put my make up on in the car, or he gets there first (out of habit), or until my backseat driving bugs him and he let's me drive home. It's just easier (and more peaceful) for both of us if I drive. I have anxiety attacks riding with him driving when we're in a hurry! He's like an old person in the fast lane. AURGH!

Who is more stubborn? We're both pretty stubborn (see "red head"), but I think I am more apt to compromise.

Who is the first to admit they are wrong? Him, because I'm never wrong. ha ha...actually I think I do slightly more. Mostly because I have foot-in-mouth syndrome, and have to keep apologizing.

Whose parents do you see more? Mine, because they're 7 minutes away and they babysit sometimes. His mom is only 30 min away, but her health isn't so good, so she doesn't come down and we're always so busy we don't make it up enough. Plus she talks SOOOOOO MUCH. (shhhh! I still love her!)

Who proposed? He did. On Christmas Day 10 years ago.

Who is more sensitive? Depends on the subject. We can both be way overly sensitive about certain things if it's poked at the wrong time.

Who has more friends? I do, he doesn't believe in friends, lol. But he really likes (most) of my friends, and their dhs too.

Who has more siblings? He has 7 (6 living)-he's #6 of 8, I have 3-I'm the oldest.

Who wears the pants in the family? We share :) It's more fun that way. They are surprisingly roomy. But I also like that thought, "Do you want to speak to the man in charge, or the woman who knows what's going on?"

So lame, I can't believe I'm blogging this!

Honestly, be ready for a lame-o post!

I went to Wal-mart last night (Now you know it's gonna be good! lol), and saw a 3-pack of Reach Toothbrushes for $1.96 on an end cap in the linens section. I usually by 2 packs of cheapos at the dollar store, but these were nice and would save me a trip there. Cool. I grabbed two.

Later at the register, they rang up $4.97. I told the cashier, and she changed the price to $1.96. I then asked if she would give me the $3 dollars off for the price ringing up wrong. (If you don't know, this is a "policy" at Wal-mart. If the price rings up wrong, they will take $3 off the price,[if it's not a clearance item] and if it's under $3, the item is free. Oh, so I'm just realizing now the item would be free intead. Ooops.) She said, yeah ok, and kept ringing things up.

Well, I've been shopping at this Wal-mart long enough to know that at least 1 item in every trip will ring up wrong. Usually it's between 2 and 50 cents. I am annoyed, but I let it go. So I try to remember exactly what every item costs, and I always watch what they ring up as. It's a habit, but it's saved us booku bucks over the years. I've gotten the $3 off many, many times. It totally adds up, especially when you factor in how Wallyworld is trying to nickle and dime us to death by charging higher prices than are marked(No, I don't think they're doing it on purpose. I'm not into that conspiracy junk...I just think it's plain laziness and incompetance. And they *really* don't care.). I don't even bother to clip coupons anymore because why use a .25 cent off coupon on one thing, when another product you bought(which you choose *because* it was cheaper than another brand) rings up .38 cents more than it should?

I've learned that even though the sign is posted IN FRONT OF THE REGISTER (It's only on a few random ones now), most cashiers don't know what you're talking about. They have to call a CSM or manager or whatever and they will explain it to them. I've seen it so many times I could explain to the cashier HOW to do it, but then I think they'd be suspicious or something, lol. They have to ring the item in again, do some sort of code...it's like "price overide error" and then they enter in the correct price and $3 will *automaticly* come off too.

So back to my boring story, the $3 hadn't come off, so I said, "I'm sorry, but were you going to take the $3 off also?" (I was very apologetic, because I didn't want her to think I was badgering her-and she was begin very nice the whole time) She said she had, but she thought I meant taking off $3 to make it the right price. I told her about the policy and she realized what I was talking about and called over someone else to help her.

That girl said she'd have to go check the price first. She asked where I got it, so I told her on an end cap NOT in the health and beauty section but across the wide isle from it. I was worried it was going to take her a loooong time because things in Walmart are so random and often hard to find. I HATE holding up a line!

Some one came in line behind me, and the checker told him it may take awhile. He said no problem, he didn't mind. I smiled apologeticly. A couple more people joined the line (this is the express isle too...), and I didn't want to make eye contact, because now I felt stupid.

It was taking too long for my taste, and I really hated holding everyone up, so I asked the cashier just to finish up and I'd take it to the service desk. She asked if I were sure and I said (a little loud, because I wanted to people in line to hear I was sorry) I didn't want to make all these people wait. So after that, I still had to wait for the other lady because she had my toothbrush pack I paid for.

She came, but couldn't find it, could only find a 2 pk of some other kind for $4.96. She said the Reach toothbrushes by themselves were $1.96, etc. I asked if she'd like me to show her where they were (if anything, I didn't want to look like a liar!), she was hesitant, but agreed.

I brought her right to them and she was surprised. She said she hadn't looked anywhere but there the other toothbrushes were. (Did I tell her they werent' there?) Then she says, Yeah, that's a good deal. I told her, yes, I know, that's why I bought it (:P duh)

So she brings me to the service desk to fix it, she waited in line with me so she could tell them I wasn't lying (lol), and after we stood there for 2 minutes, watching 3 cashier/csm/manager people with keys trying to fix something on the computer, lol, and no one was being helped, I asked my "security guard" for her name, and told her I'd just have them call/ask you (I forgot they don't have those Target walkietalkies...) and verify it. She said, Oh, nevermind, I think I can do it on my register. So we trek BACK across the store for like a 4th time.

Oh and she can't do it on her reg. Trying has signaled a csm dude to come over as we're going back to the service desk. She explains to csm we meet on the way and he says ok, he'll take care of it. So I've being handed off, and new puppyguard takes me BACK to the service desk, where he ALSO stops and we wait in line. Behind the SAME poor lady that's been waiting that whole time. And the SAME 3 people are trying to fix the register. Seriously, why to they have like 6 registers if they only open 1 or 2 at a time?

FINALLY, it's our turn. Girl at the Service desk argues that I wasn't charged the wrong price, it showed on my recipet it was adjusted to the right price. I said I *KNEW* that, I caught the mistake and we hunted down the blasted things to confirm that. She said, well, you weren't charged the wrong price, so I can't give you the $3. Then the puppyguard says, Oh yeah, that's right. That's the policy. Really, I don't know at what point I should have given up. I think our looming financial future was scaring me, so I was more adamant about my dang $3. And it's the whole danged principle of the thing. I HATE WALMART for ripping people off. I'm not just fighting for myself, I'm fighting for YOU, and YOU, and YOU!!!.

But after all this hassle, I wasn't going down that easily. I quoted (I think verbatim) the stupid sign that said if an item RINGS up the wrong price, they'll adjust the price and give you $3 off your total purchase. I told them I am very meticulous about watching the prices because I have never been to any store that had more price discrepancies that this one, and so I was also very familiar with the $3 policy, and I had listened to many many managers explain it to cashiers, including what code to use etc(I told her what it was, she didn't seem to care). Again they argued that the price DIDN'T ring up wrong etc etc. (It does show on the recipt it did and then she changed it.) Why am I wasting my breath?

Finally the puppyguard(Do you know the term puppyguard? We used to use it as kids when we played tag. Like if someone was in a safe spot, but would eventually have to leave, the person who was it would "puppy guard" them, waiting to catch them. We'd call out, "Hey! NO puppy guarding!". Yeah, anyway. I now return you to our regularly scheduled rant.) says, "Well, since it's such a small amount, we'll just do this for you..." Like he was doing me a favor, and ridiculing me for all this trouble over $3. Whatever. I truly don't care.

But as they were cashing it out, and he told me in the future, I should just let it ring up the wrong price and then come to the customer service desk and have them fix it. I was so annoyed, I said, in a very calm clear voice (We had an audience of people waiting in line behind us too), "So let me get this right, After standing in a very long checkout line (this store is ridiculous for being slow, and having very few stands open), I should let myself be overcharged, so I can go stand in ANOTHER very slow line at customer service, to have the store correct it's mistake?"

He replied, AND I QUOTE, "Yeah, It may sound silly, but it's the policy."

As I turned to go (and faced the line that was watching and listening), I said, "Oh, Ohhh-kaaaay..." in a slightly patronizing tone, and I was rolling my eyes so only the customers could see. 3 or 4 of them laughed ;)

I honestly want to take my digi-cam around with me shopping next time and take a picture of every item and the price. Then when I take my big old list to the service desk, I will ask for a REAL manager and show them. Then they will all have a good laugh about me when I leave the store. I. hate. walmart.

Sorry you had to read that, but don't say you weren't warned.

Q & A time!

Q: What happens when you 2-year-old finds a jar of pomade?

A: You get to meet, Rain-X Face Boy!

I washed his hair 4 times with regular shampoo before I gave up. The water would just bead off his hair (and face! Click on pic to make it bigger)

Later, his daddy washed his hair with dish soap twice. Much better.

I cut my baby girl's hair today!

Well, and her twin brother's too, but it's not as tramatic for me. I've cut my boys hair loads of time, but this is my one and only princess who is such a girly girl and loves to wear pretties and let me play with her hair and style it.

And it took quite a long time to grow the stuff too!

Here's Allie and Robbie at 5 months:

10 months

Here they are at 11 months (Her hair is THE SAME as the 5 month pic)

15 months old (3 months after traumatic buzzcut)

22 months old...

Here's 27 months old... Allie's is still very sparse and Robbie is asking for another haircut!

And June of this year (not quite 2 and a half)

In August she had one very tiny trim on the ends. Very little...the stylist only charged me for a bang trim. How sad is that? lol. This was after her brother left 3+ inches on the floor. I think he got all the hair genes in the womb. Well, all my boys had LOADS of hair from a few months on. I always joked if I had a girl, she'd be bald. Um, yep. I even buzzed her head once (don't have a pic right now) right after she turned 1 hoping it would grow in thicker, since I'd heard that myth. Yeah, it was just a myth. I used a 1/8 on her, and a 1/4 on Robbie (just because it made her look even MORE bald after I buzzed her, so he got to support his sister ;)

So, here's a current before:

JUST KIDDING!

Here it is:

AND now, for your viewing pleasure, heeeeeeeeere's Allie's new do!

And her adorable partner in crime, Robbie:

I actually started crying after I realized how short it went (she'd had her head tilted when I made the first cut, I think). I was all emotional and shakey (Ok, period time!), and Eric said, "I guess you're not gonna cut my hair next?" I told him I wouldn't cry over *his* hair. Big dodo.

Anyway, it ended up ok. I hope it will look nice when it grows too, instead of her faux wispy baby layers, which are very cute, but could look very scraggly too. Awww...she's looking grown up! *sniff sniff*

*yawn* DONE! Tales of my Black Friday.

Well, besides a couple stocking stuffers, and one animal figurine type toy for Miss Allie, I am DONE with Christmas shopping for my family! And for my extended family, I making them something, so after I pay for part of those supplies, I will be done *buying* Christmas presents for the year! (Don't say anything about all the December birthdays, like my Grandma's b-day on the 23rd, Liam's 1st b-day on the 28th, Spencer's 9th b-day on the 30th... Oh and my b-day is the 2nd, but I don't have to buy gifts for myself, thank goodness ;)

I have thought for *months* that I was pretty much done with everyone. I even wrapped all the kids presents and put a number in the bottom corner of each present with a corresponding number on a list of what was in the boxes. Genius idea...until I lost the list and had to tear/open up the dang things last night so I could know who I needed to buy for. (I bought them forever ago and had forgotten what I'd bought vs. what I wanted to buy...doesn't that happen to you ever?

Lo and behold, I did not have near the booty I thought. Either that or someone had plundered my chest, aka big, ugly, unassuming(camouflaged in the junk room) Tupperware tote full of presents. I didn't have a single thing for two boys (granted, one had his b-day in Oct and I gave him his...). It was just frustrating. I had also planned on giving the two oldest boys Tae Kwan Do lessons, but now we won't be able to swing the $70 a month (total...I know, that's a good deal still) for that coming Jan. (I have to take Ethan out of preschool Jan too, but it's ok.) SO there went their "big presents".

But itsallgood. I bought some crapola online at Kohl's last night at midnight, and got free shipping AND 15% off of the early morning door busters! Score!

Then I got up at 5am (Ok, my *alarm* got up at 5am, *I* got up at 5:24 when dh kicked me out of my nice, warm cozy bed.), met my mom at Kohl's at 5:34 (I was 4 min late, but ain't I good?!? And no, I wasn't in my pjs). We entered and holy mackerel, as we entered deeper into the store, we saw the line NEVER ended. The store has a circle layout, so I honestly think, that line literally did not end. Wouldn't that have been HILARIOUS fo some genius salesperson pulled that? *snicker snicker* I would get up at 5 am to watch them discover *that*.

We decided, 1) We could not get into any isle without convincing 4 or more people that no, we are not cutting in line, our hand are empty, we would like to see if there are any items to purchase in the store. Thankyouverymuch. 2) We really didn't have a game plan as to what we wanted(dumb, I know. This was a last minute decision to go) 3) There cannot be anything in that store that is such an incredible deal that would warrant standing in a line for several hours.

So at about 6am, dazed and disorientated by the sheer number of desperate people, we made our way back to the fresh (FREEZING) air and to my car. As we past Target while heading to the freeway, the line, or should I say, mass of people, went past on store and around the entire building....don't know how far it went, glad I didn't *have* to know.

We headed to Shopko, where we knew the items we wanted (I'd even printed out a "shopping list" from their website.) Not many items we wanted were there, but there were at least 75% less people than at Kohls, so that was fine. We found a couple deals, and a short line (at the Optical Center desk. Waited behind 3 or 4 people with a couple items each.).

8am, we went to Kmart, HUGE lines, not much stuff that we wanted either. But we kept wandering and I found a VERY comfortable pair of warm boot/shoes($7!), but my mom took them and paid for them so they were part of my b-day gift, lol. I also scored a backpack for my soon-to-be-nursing-student hubby, clearanced at $10, but rang up $5. SCORE! Oh yeah, and by the time we were ready to check out, we only had ONE person in line in front of us. DOUBLE SCORE! (And I normally *hate* Kmart)

My sister called to say they got the doorbuster brown microfiber $299 couches from RC Willeys Outlet and did we want one too? (cause they were holding one for us.. they also got one for my brother, said brother was in line at RC Willeys and after CAMPING OUT overnight scored him self a wicked deal on a ginormous TV) It was that or a kitchen table (we use old plastic church classroom chairs, lol) for mine and Eric's present (we're not buying each other stuff-shhh...it's ok if I by him that backpack...he needs one anyhow.). So...it's the couch, to go with our soon to be painted living room! This is the first couch I've ever bought new! (we've had one set Eric's "old" fiance picked out, one $40 yard sale find, and now my grandparents handme downs that are getting pretty shabby and, well, grandparent looking, lol)

9am, we grabbed breakfast at MacD's and since we'd had pretty good luck at the last two stores, we decided to try Toys R Us... I'd tried to buy the door busters online, but the shipping was soooo outrageous(like almost 50%!!!), it was just, well, outrageous! Guess they really wanted you to get off your buns and hit their store.

We walked in, and this tired little old lady waves a rolled up ad at us motioning to join a line. We thought, um...no thanks, and walked around. Once we got into the "open", we saw that was the start of the line to PAY. 15 feet from the door. And it wound in and out of every other isle, and went around the ENTIRE STORE. Once we realized what it was, and that it was not a line to another service desk of something, I asked a lady near the front (maybe had 8 carts to go before she entered the checkout area where lines normally start, lol) how long she'd been in line. She said, um, uh...I don't know. A half hour? And hour? Ok, well thanks. I ask another lady two people in front of her how long. She said, and I quote, "One hour and 43 minutes." I said, Thank you, and put down my 2 silly little items RIGHT THERE. I think the first gal must have been in a time warp and lost all track of time. Seriously? Is it worth it to save $20 by standing in line for 2 hours? We were thinking of the time your losing getting deals at other places, etc. Wooooooow.
But I guess if that's what you wanted, and that was ALL you needed then you'd be done...maybe.

As we tried to leave the parking lot, a lady was wandering back and forth in the middle of the street looking a little tipsy. She had recently left the store, as she was struggling with two big, full Toys R Us bags and I think she was blinking from the sunlight. Poor thing. She can't remember what day it was or even how to drive a car, if that is indeed what she came there in. Heck, she might have ridden her horse and buggy.

We then went to Wal-mart and they price matched all the junk we couldn't get at Toys R Us. Oh, my, gosh. Wal-mart is good for something! *doing the happy dance* Really, I think I just really needed to pee. It's been a loooong morning.

But we decided we'd try Kohl's again to see if the line had died down. It was 11am now.

HA HA! Not even. At least now it had a break in the line (from one side to the other), so you could see there were two different lines that wrapped around the store in two different directions. I really didn't want anything else there, but my mom did...then I pointed to the line and said, Oh yeah.

Eric had to go to work, so I took my mom home and came back. After getting the kids settled, I decided to peek at Kohl's online to get what my mom wanted. I ended up getting her her stuff, and one more thing I needed and a $2 shirt for Allie, plus I got to use my 15% off and free shipping again. Yay me!

So...that's my story. And tonight, I've bribed Eric into helping me wrap these presents. Can I get a "Whoop whoop!" ? Whoop whoop!

I made a recipe blog.

Now I can store my recipes that I've c/p from friends and sites and saved in numerous word docs into one place. Plus it's also easier to share (I don't know how many times someone's asked for a recipe I had, but I'd have to hunt down the cook book/index card, back of the utilities bill is was scribbled on in orange crayon, then type it up etc and I'd always forget.), and...my fav part....I can organize them with the neat little label thingy on Blogger. Yay!

Oh, and FEEL FREE to send me some of your most yummiest recipes! I love collecting them, and you be happy to post them too. I mean it!

AND those of you who also have recipe blogs, please send me the link and I'll put them on my blog as well. Thanks!

Shayla's Recipe Box

Message to my friends...and a reminder to myself.

This is really personal, and I'm sharing this in the hopes that if you are here reading this, and maybe if you've never experienced depression, especially long term, this may help you understand even just a little what it feels like. I've also shared how I'm trying to fight it. I hope you will read this without judgement on my part. I've tried to keep these things to myself as to not worry my friends and family when there was very little any of them could do. These are some random thoughts I've been having this morning, while worrying about a friend, who is struggling too. *deep breath* Here we go.

I don't think Ky killed herself because she felt unloved. She loved and was loved and she knew it. Over the last couple months, a few times I'd thought about *it*, somewhat seriously. But never once was it because I didn't think I was loved or not cared about. I know I have many many wonderful friends, more than I deserve, that would do anything to help me, if they knew how.

It was about feeling hopeless and not seeing any light at the end of the tunnel. It was feeling so rotten and worthless and that everything was just so much harder that it should be. It was the frustration at feeling these things and feeling like you had no control over it. You couldn't just "snap out of it".

It was also Satan doing every stinkin' thing he could to push those thoughts further to the forethought of my mind. To drill them in. To tell me it WAS hopeless, and I would NEVER feel better, never feel another way except how I felt now, and even if by some chance I did start to feel somewhat better, HE would be right there to drag me down as soon as I started to get a little shaky. It's absolutely terrifying, thinking you'll never be happy again and it's easier to just give up, right?

When you're in this dark place, thinking these things, it's very very easy to believe them. I've had thoughts that wouldn't go away in my bad times that on any "normal" day, I wouldn't have ever entertained for a millisecond. Your mind is altered. I think that may be what Satan does when he gets a little bit inside, to gnaw and poke and prod at your deepest fears, and tell you they are all true. I think his presence can absolutely change how your mind works. Physically. You can physically feel this too, like a dark, heavy weight pressing on you. AND I think he gets in when there has been a lack of light for so long. It's easier for him to creep in slowly, so that you don't even notice until BAM! I hadn't committed any big sins, just lack of keeping the light going in my life.

When I was feeling so crummy and I actually got an answer a couple times that I was supposed to do the things I knew I should be, like praying, reading the scriptures etc. I actually KNEW that would help me, (Not saying this is always a cure, or that if you're doing the "right" things, you will never suffer from depression or have any hardships, etc.) I couldn't do it. I felt so apathetic, because caring about my situation hurt me. I didn't want to try, even though I desperately wanted to be "all better". it would be "too hard". It was this big dumb contradiction: wanted to be better, but not being able to make yourself that way, even when you may very well have the answer under your nose. I think only one who's felt this same way understands that. Others may just see that as being lazy, or enjoying being sad etc.

So I've been working hard. I've been trying to fix the things I could and ignore the rest. Can I finish a bedroom in the basement-so the kids aren't squished and fighting- by myself because my hubby works 60 hrs a week and goes to school? Nope. Can I see into the future and know how we'll will survive on Eric only working part time at a dinky pay for the next 2 years while going to nursing school? Nope. Can I go through the mountain of laundry and get rid of half of it and get the rest washed, dried, folded and put away? Yes. Was it hard? Yup. Did it last for long? nope, but I had control over it, I could do it again, and again and again as frustrating as that was, *I* still had a hand in it. It's a simple little thing (well, my laundry pile cannot be called "simple" or "little", but you get the point), a household chore, for crying out loud! And one of the most dreaded of them all!(Especially if you have 6 small children...) But I began to feel again that I CAN control some aspects of my life, and recognizing that gave me more power. Absolutely forcing myself sometimes, I am doing things, although some days sporadically, that can change my surroundings, my attitude, and my heart.

I'm still not doing everything right. I've still got a negative outlook on somethings, but it's getting better. Not magically, but because I'm moving forward. Makes me harder for Satan to catch.

Some a ma Pumpkins....

So I'm a weird mom, and after all the 4 youngest not-yet-in-school kids had just had baths, had their hair blowdried (I can't stand to have them run around with wet hair...makes me think they'll catch pnemonia and die. You'd never guess I was a mom, would ya? Well, they think it's fun anyway...gets them warm and toasty after their bath.), and were all cute and clean for at least 7 minutes...I thought it was a perfect time for a photo shoot!

But dang if I can't load half the photos on here. Dang if I couldn't get 2 of the 4 chicklets to cooperate. Oh well. You get what ya get...(Please, don't finish that sentance. I hear my kids chant it often enough that it drives even me, the mom, the pervayer of repeated warnings and encouragement to behave and NOT whine...crazy.) And as always, if you want a GOOD look, clicky on the picky and it will get...uh, um, biggy?

Here's an Allie Sandwich. Ethan and Robbie lovin' their sis.

My sweetest of sweet punkin' pies, little Lee-Lee!

So cute, ya have to see him twice to believe it! Liam the Loverbug...

And this little blue-eyed Melt your heart Boy...

is currently residing as my desktop wallpaper and I absolutely cannot look at this without a smile and an uncontrollable urge to run find the real thing and kiss his little cheeks, nibble his little ears and squeeze him in a mamabear hug! Can't you tell by that face that he is just trouble brewing? Master mess maker supreme, and he already has the get out of jail free card working for him... if he does something naughty, he runs to me, buries his face in me and with a big hug says, "I be sowwy Mama. I be sowwy."

Rest of the patch to follow...

Really? It *IS* the hardest job EVAH?

So I've thought of a lot of things I could/should be posting on my blog. They just ain't happening, Man. I've been busting my heiny to get my house in shape, but now, even though I've been working harder than I may have in the last 9 yrs, There has not been much difference at all! This is the MOST frustrating thing!

Sure, I can get the house looking clean, the laundry ALL folded and put away(I wrote THAT day on my calendar!) but then...well, I really don't have to spell it out for you. I'm assuming you all have children, even one of those BIG children who is often the biggest mess maker. Really. I don't have to explain it to you.

So working so so so hard, never taking any time for myself anymore (My computer was my escape...again, no explination needed for You-hoo...)and still only seeing a dent at the end of the day is really making me want to call it quits somedays. Like nothing I do is amounting to a hill of beans (That's a dumb saying. Who wants a hill of beans? Geez.).

But... then I do feel like at least I'm trying, and now I can see that my job as Da Mama really is a tough thing, and it's not just that I've been a lazy bum (well, some days, I'm sure I have!), this job really is hard! So, there's a little validation for me. Why isn't my dragon badge glowing?

So I lied...

Said I was back to bloggin, but not so much. Sue me! lol

Oh and I started THIS post in August or something. Since it's almost all done, I'm just gonna post it now. So there.

Here's what I did the other week...

I got my haircut a month or so ago, then had my mom "fix it" (Ok...sometimes you do have to spend a little money to get your hair done. Or at least avoid Great Clips unless you can get your hair cut with a 3 on top and a 1 on the sides (or whatever it is), cuz if they gotta use scissors on you...you're in trouble.)



I have bangs now, but in the before pic I just tucked them back because the ends were too yucky thanks to my highlights growing out (looked like fried straw or something at the ends). So I dyed my hair with a box to get it back to my natural color. Half grown out blonde highlights are yucky.

I just read the "timeline" I gave ya... (Did this in August or something, what I did last week, something about a month ago....) Good grief. If you can follow that and give me an exact date, I'll send you a candy bar.

Bragging Pictures of my Kids...

What the hey, here's some pics from about a month ago after all the boys got hair cuts. (Liam now needs one...I'll wait till he's asleep. And Robbie has since giving his twin sister a trim...right on top of her head to about 1/8 an inch. It's not *too* bad, but still made me sad :(

Spencer, age 8 and 1/2, now in 3rd grade.

Jordan is 7 and in 2nd grade.

Ethan is 4 (will turn 5 in Oct) and will start preschool next week.

Here are my three littlest darlings, Allie, Liam and Robbie. Allie and Robbie are 2 and 1/2 and Liam is 7 months old.


That's it. Nothing else to see here. Move along, move along. Yes, I know I make cute babies, as my husband likes to say, but I will turn my title over to some other woman. If I have any more I'd have to move into a shoe (Thanks Heidi, I love that!)

Back from my blogging hiatus...

I've tried to go cold turkey when it came to my "computer time", but when I found myself composing blog posts in my head, in the shower, while trying to go to sleep, while nursing my baby... I think that was a sign I needed a creative outlet. So, I blog again.

I think this post will be a few quick (as opposed to the "in depth" lol) thoughts I've had over the last couple of weeks, then I will write down some of the posts that have been rattling around in my head along with all that other junk and stresses and worries and to do lists and ridiculous thoughts and fears and stupid puns and that sort of rot.

I have been contemplating how I can change my life. Sounds simple, right? heh heh. I know I need to do something to change *me* and my attitude, I just don't know how. The desire is there, but the knowledge is lacking. Maybe some faith is lacking too. That could be the problem.

The problem could also be that I'm lazy, because if I'm to become the kind of person I want to be, it's going to take a lot, and I mean a LOT of work, and dang it.... I'm already so tired and worn out, I don't know if I can make it over that next hill, let alone the Mount Everest that is looming before me.

Well, I better stop there before I get all "whoa is me" and "I suck". Too late? Eh. Oh well. It's my blog. No one's forcing you to read it ;)

Macro Pictures: Craft Room Series

I've got more, but these are the only ones I can get to upload right now.

You gotta click on the pic to make it HUGE...they look much better that way!

Chalk




Wire



Microbeads

Know your geography?

Fun game. I got "28 mile miss" average. Not bad for a gal who's never been East of Utah. What did YOU get?
http://www.addictinggames.com/50statesv2.html

10 year High School Reunion (Part Deux)

At least, I THINK it was *MY* high school reunion.

First, so you don't think I'm a total loser and didn't make friends with anyone, I will tell you that I only went to this school my 11th and 12th grade years. AND we didn't even live in that city until 2 weeks before graduation. Lived 30 minutes away. (long story, don't ask. It's boring.) That said, my circle of friends was limited to a very few including those who had a car (as I didn't) so we could hang out after school and stuff, lol. And I had a serious boyfriend nearly the whole time, so I wasn't a'flirtin with the guys either. Our graduating class was HUGE. Like 750-800 or something. Class of '97 was the last class before they opened a new HS that cut our school in half (that was SO needed. We were so crowded it was ridiculous! My senior year they lengthened the time between classes because so many kids were late just trying to get through the traffic crunch in the halls. It was common for the "leader" of a group to make a path and all their friends would link on to each other's backpacks and follow through the mass. It was baaad.)

So anyway...

Dinner/program at local college. Hubby and I get there... I can't see anyone I know enough to even go up to them and say Hi. We walk past several tables with a few couples sitting at them to some empty tables. No seems to know anyone, so it's like you're in a restaurant with a bunch of people you don't know, yet you're going to have to ask to sit at their table. Best thing to do it get your own table, so at least you're already "there" and you're not the latecomer who has to "ask permission" to sit with you. We snag a empty table and sit.

And sit.

And sit.

Eric asks, "Why are we here if you don't know anyone?"

I say, "Shaddup. It was a BIG school (etc etc, see reasons above), and everyone has changed! I can't recognize hardly anyone." I was relieved to see that I wasn't the only one to have put on some "baby weight". (I don't know personally if they had kids, I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt, like I hope people give me!) But then there were way too many people who look even better than they did in HS (even if I didn't recognize them, lol)

Then I see someone, someone I hung out with the last few months of my senior year and part of the summer after and I even dated him for a month or so. He and his wife are walking towards us, and I'm glad to finally see someone I recognize enough that I'll wave and say hi, and not have to feel stupid hoping they remember who I am. I ask my husband if he minds if I invite them to join us (I'm being a courteous wife! I did date the guy for a little bit anyway...) He says no, so I'm about the raise my hand to wave and call his name when, "WHOOSH!" He does an about-face that leaves his wife still walking in our direction.

He's suddenly facing the window. I look at my husband, puzzled. I say, "Huh, I guess he didn't see me." Eric replies, "Well, how could he not? We're 10 feet away, and he was looking right at you when he turned."

Then, his cute wife whips her head around so fast I can hear vertebrae pop and she stares right into my eyes...then whips back at concussion speed.

"Are you kidding me?", I say to my hubby, who is now laughing. "Seriously, did you just see that?" "Oh yeah....I did, " and he's laaaaaaaaughing. "What did you do to the poor guy?"

Well Dang. I haven't a clue! Ok, so I broke up with him 10 years ago, and went out with one of his best friends the next week(for like a month...), but the key phrase there is "10 years ago". AND I thought we'd become friends after that. I wrote to him after he joined the army. He sent me flowers on my 18th birthday, we went to a Christmas concert together, all as FRIENDS. Eric and even I went to his missionary homecoming. That was 8 yrs ago, but I thought we'd left off as friends, or at least adults. I did see him on the news, returning from Iraq(they showed his wife and cute baby girl too!) then the next year, I saw them all at my pediatrician's office and waved then, but I didn't think he saw me. At least not until now...

I'm still obsessing a little over what I did to offend them, and my darling hubby keeps giggling at that so it's hard to forget. Eric tried to make me feel better a few days later (because as he's observed, I don't like it when someone doesn't like me, especially if there's no good reason!) by saying the guy has probably been blaming everything anything that went wrong in his marriage on me. Oh, Riiiiiight. Because I was just THAT importiant, ROFL!!! But I guess in some sick twisted way it was sweet for Eric to try to make me feel better anyhow!

I keep watching the door for my friend and her hubby to show (We've kept in touch, have couple's date night with them, and had actually been taking a digi photo class with her right before this). I saw only one or two people do that "OH MY GOSH! Scream hug giggle" thing. Mostly, I felt better knowing I wasn't the only one who looked like they didn't know anyone there from Adam.

Finally, my friend and her dh show, and I went to get them, so they could find us and our lonely table. I came up to them and squealed, "AIM-MEEEEE! It's so good to SEE you!"scream giggle hug! And I hugged her dh too for good measure "MIIIIKE! It's been such a long TIME!". They looked at me like I was a little crazy. Amy had dropped me off at home after our photo class 2 days before, and I'd texted her dh a picture of the very long lines in walmart where we were stuck a few weeks before that... Then they realized I was just being weird, so that was normal. And I told them I wanted to look like I knew someone here and make sure everyone knew it. So there. Perfect sense.

I'm leading them back, and as I get to the table, ready to show Eric that we do indeed know someone here who will actually talk to me, I turn around and they're gone. Oh. They're talking to the guy who found such an incredibly interesting view out the window that he stared at it so hard his wife had to turn around and see what *else* was interesting. Whatever.

Eric laughs at how my friend and I don't know anyone (yes, we've established that), and it's even funnier because her husband served his mission with the single gal who sat at the table with us. For a while there, he knew just as many people there as we did...and he wasn't from our class/school/city/county!

The night goes on...the food was decent. We saw another old buddy and his gorgeous wife. It was hard to find things to say to people I used to spend hours talking with nearly everyday in high school. Wow, life has changed.

When we got to the "program" part of the night, I moaned, because I knew there was going to be some mention of how many kids I had, I wasn't sure if they'd try to embarrass me or what (A friend told me when she went to their 10yr reunion with 5 kids they "awarded" them a box of condoms.). There was a dang survey right by the front door: How many countries have you visited (Is IDAHO another country?), How many years of college have you attended(me personally, or how many years did I hold down the fort while my hubby went? He started back up when I got pregnant with #3, and we now have 6. I think THAT counts too!), How many years have you been married? and how many rugrats, er, uh, kids do you have?

My scream/hug/giggle friend snickers at me, cuz she knows it too. We looked over the surveys. Most had 1 or 2 kids. A few had 3, and TWO had 4 kids.

Someone went to 20 countries, someone went to 8 years of college, someone was married for 10 years (Yup, lol), and I had the 6 kids. I got a huge tub of Laffy Taffy from Costco and lots of cheers and claps. Well that made all the *years* of extreme morning sickness worth it then ;)

Then we watched "The Senior Slide Show"...some lame slide show I don't think we even watched the first time around. It was so boring and grainy and even though our class had like 5 gazillion people, it was the SAME 12 girls OVER AND OVER AND OVER. Wow. Suddenly I remembered high school, lol. My friend and were able to pick out maybe 4 people we knew, and were friends with(to some degree), in like a 45 minute slide show. And they were shown 3-6 times apiece.

All in all, it was fun. Ironically, Friday in the park was better. But at least I got a night out with my hubby, and a tub of laffy taffy.

I'm looking forward to my "other" high school reunion in August. (All the kids I grew up with 1st-10th grade) I will definitely know more people. I could have walked into Wal-mart and recognized more people. And such is my life! ;)

10 year High School Reunion (Part One)

Continuing from my last post...

Friday Night(Picnic in the Park with Family): Eventually we went. I forgave dh, because, really, I *know* I'm fat, and punishing HIM for it just wasn't going to do anything. I will sign him up for sensitivity training though.

We got there about an hour late, no biggie, it wasn't a structured thing and people were coming and going the whole time. As we walked to the pavilion, and I was squinting to see anyone I knew, I could see people squinting at us to see if I was someone they knew. I could see them "counting" in their head all my little ducklings trailing behind me...1, 2, 3, wow...4...5...are those all hers? ...6 Oh my gosh! Are there anymore?

It was sooo crowded, little kids running everywhere and of course mine wanted to run off too. We tried to take Liam out of his car seat only to see poop alllllll the way up his back, lol. And of COURSE we didn't bring a change of clothes. Eric took him back to the van and tried to "salvage" his outfit and the carseat, I let the 3 boys go play on the playground, I tried to keep the twins still next to me. A couple girls I knew came right up to me and we were talking. One asked if the twins were mine, I said yes, and there's 4 more...her eyes about popped out of her head. She said, "Oh, *your* the one with 6 kids?!?!" I say...."Whaaaaaa? I'm being *talked* about? Oh man...." She looks worried, "Oh, no, I um, no I just heard someone say...someone had 6 kids...." backpedal...backpedal.... Greaaaat. lol

I ended up just chasing the twins around on the playground. I did see a buddy there, he was chasing his *one* child, lol. He pointed out his son, and his pregnant wife. Right then, some of my kids came down the twisty slide. I tapped them on the head and said, "This one's mine, this one, this one....one over there....there should be one more running around, and the immobile one is on that blanket with my hubby over there." Yeah, he did the eye pop mouth open thing. We talked about "the old gang" to see if either of us knew what happened to them, I knew pretty much about all the girls, and he, the guys, lol.

I went to sit on our blanket and trade with Eric the duty of watching all 5 kids (I was getting dizzy!) for the mellow poop-free, yet pantsless baby.
But then Liam got fussy, the twins were cranky, I was tired...and we'd only been there maybe 30 minutes. I motioned to Eric I wanted to leave (I really wanted to stay, but it was pointless with all our munchkins. And I was getting tired of being a side show.

Eric brought Allie to me on the blanket, who was very upset about being taken from the slide, even though she refuses to slide down it, Ethan was whining about wanting to go play the games (they'd set up for the kids), Liam was getting really fussy, Eric plopped Robbie down too, who jumped up and ran away, Spencer chased him down, and brought him back, but Robbie did that "limp toddler" thing, you know, so it's impossible to pick them up? So his shirt is half off and it looks like Spencer is mugging him, while trying to drag him back... I get a hold of Robbie, and Allie runs off SCREAMING. I ask Spencer to just follow her, but NOT try to drag her back. Oh, and I'm trying to talk to someone who came over to my blanket, I'm sure it was lovely, we were a regular three ring circus!

Eric comes back with Jordan, I ask him to take Liam and Robbie to the car, I tell Jordan and Ethan to follow Daddy, and I will go get Allie and her watchdog, Spencer. (sigh)

They had ended up on the opposite side of the park, on top of the very highest slide. Oh yeah, remember Allie's petrifying fear of going DOWN the slide? Spence and Allie are blocking the top, I'm trying to tell Spencer to help her down, but there are about 6 little kids in the way who won't move, so Spencer just goes past her and leaves her up there! Another little girl (maybe 2) thinks that's a good idea because this chick isn't moving, so she pushes past Allie too. This freaks her out, and she starts screaming. I'm trying to reach up and grab Allie, but it's way too high. I'm then trying to tell these little kids I need them to move so I can go get her. They look at me like I'm speaking Chinese pig latin, with a russian accent. Some of their parents see what's going on and try to help me move them. They still won't move. They think I'm "cutting" in line, lol

I finally climb up (and gee. It really is high, and there are no sides to the slide, just really low handles at the top. I was a little nervous too!), Convince Allie to walk backwards down the stairs, but she's still screaming. Once I'm on the ground, I reach up to grab her, but she keeps screaming. I'm thinking she's totally traumatized. (did I mention we have a large audience at this point?) I unpeeled her superhuman grip on the railing and I'm trying to tell her she's ok, I've got her, etc etc. Then....get this: She screams, "I WANNA SLIDE!!!!" Oh. Brother.

So I politely thank the other parents for moving their kids etc, I'm trying to ignore the hysterical screaming toddler in my arms and proceed to pick up my blanket and purse that I'd dropped to climb up and rescue my "princess", who is turning into the dragon at this point. I now have to walk across the entire park with my wailing girl and I *know* I was getting stares, but I just acted like it was nothing. I waved at a couple people I knew. Someone said something to me and smiled, I smiled back, but since my ears were ringing, I haven't a clue what they said. She was like an alarm siren or something. She didn't stop even after Eric pulled up and I buckled her in.

Never let it be said I don't know how to make an exit!

3 strikes....

I'm trying to get dressed for my 10 year high school reunion. Nothing makes you more aware of how much weight you've gained than the thought of seeing people who haven't seen you in 10 years and 55 lbs ago. There was no one I really wanted to impress... I think the fact that I have 6 kids is impressive enough that I am crazy. But I'm just thinking how the first thought in their head when they see me and recognize me (thanks to that name tag!) is, "Wow...She got FAT!"

Tonight is a picnic for the whole family and I made sure my kids were all dressed cute and were clean etc. Hoping I could thwart off any gawking at my fat butt by my fellow cavemen being blinded by beautiful children. (BWAAHAHA!)

I'm trying to get dressed, but I'm acutely aware of how snug my tops are (Yes, I'm breastfeeding my 6 month old, and I don't ever start to lose any weight until I ween my kids), how, ehem, saggy said breastfeeding receptacles are for lack of a decent bra, how my pudgy, lumpy belly sticks out, how crazy and uncontrollably BIG my hair has gotten (Seriously, the more I mess with my naturally curly hair, the WORSE it gets...you'd THINK I could remember that.). I can put this stuff in the back of my mind most days, but I am feeling very self conscious tonight.

I ask dh, "Honey, are there any pants that I have that you think make me look thinner?" (I'm meaning, anything that makes me look good...but just in case my dh reads this, I'm telling you what I said word for word)

He answers... "No. They're all the same."

STRIKE ONE.

I'm hurt, but I restate my question, hoping he just didn't get what I meant.

"I mean, is there any outfit I've worn that you think I look good in?"

Again, "No. Not really."

STRIKE TWO!!!!!!

I leave the room.

I'm hunting through my closet, hoping to find some magical pair of size 8's to fit my size 16/18 body, but nothing. I guess it must be at the dry cleaners.

I go back to the living room, hunting again through the folded laundry, hoping to find some gorgeous piece of clothing I never knew I owned that will be stunning and create such an illusion that I will have people stopping to ask me, "What's your secret?" ... Dh opens his mouth and says:

"Well the good thing is that medicine (I just started taking something for post pardum depression) will make you lose weight."

Did he just SAY THAT?

STRIKE THREE!!!!!

I stomp off to my room.

Dh comes in. (Yes, he's a glutton for punishment) He says, "What are you going to wear tomorrow? (The "semi formal" dinner for adults only)

I say, "I don't know...I can't find anything for today so I don't care yet."

And I can't remember exactly how he said it, but it was the tone, I swear. It was like, "What *in the world* are you going to *try to* wear tomorrow *because you can't fit in any of your clothes, you fat pig.* " I put my own words in there, obviously.

Then he says, in his final attempt at lame consoling, "Well, I'm fat too...". He said something after "too", but I didn't hear it.

By this point, I've had enough.

I tell him, something I've always told him the opposite of.... and that is that I want him to LIE TO ME! Tell me I look good even if I don't. Compliment me, even if you're thinking I've really got to lay off the M & Ms. Reassure me that I'm not as huge as I think. Remind me that I had a baby 6 months ago and FIVE others in the 8 years before that! Say something...anything other than what you're saying to me now!!!

So really, if you're counting, we're up to like strike six or something. :(

On a side note, he told me later (after I've yelled at him good! lol) that he "thinks I look good in *everything*" and that's why he couldn't pick a specific outfit. Whatever. You just keeeeeep back peddling, but you commited the cardinal sin. You called your wife fat!

Where ya going? I-duh-O.

Years ago when I was a kid and we were driving behind a, shall I put it nicely...confused driver? He switched lanes over and over, more often than not without signaling and he'd speed up and slow down. It was the middle of the day, and in "Happy Valley" Utah about 15 yrs ago so we weren't thinking he could be drunk. My Mom said, "Where ya goin?" (refering to the wayward driver) and my Dad answered for him, "I-DUH-O", as in "I don't know" (refering to his Idaho license plates.) They giggled over it and several times since then when we see an Idaho driver who seems a little lost in the agressive, me me me driving in Utah, we repeat the joke.

You probably had to be there...but it's a long standing family joke. We love to tease our extended family (my mom's parents and her brother's family) who are all from or still reside in Idaho.

Idahoians...please don't get mad, we actually liked driving in Idaho Falls 2 weeks ago way better than Utah. But that joke was just what comes to mind, almost every times I see this plate...

How do you say it?

I feel like I have a funnel the size of a pin and emotions and words and things that are trying to pour out of me...and they are Niagra Falls.

It's only now, days later I can atempt to document this... get these thoughts and feelings out before I burst at the seams. I don't know where to start, so I will just pick a spot.

I don't know how to get into it gracefully, or even be deep. I will just say an incredible person has left this earth and it's not fair or right to the least degree. Especially not to those who were left behind. Not her sweet, loved 3 children. Not her adoring and adored husband. Not her wonderful sister or niece. Not her best friends, and not all those who loved her and who's lives she made brighter, just by crossing our paths, or even while walking with us on our own troubled journeys.

That said, everything in the world is all...??? Things are upsidedown and don't make sense. Priorities have flip-flopped. Emotions are raw and so near the surface. I cried at The Wiggles, a hawk soaring (it was so beautiful...), not finding blue flowers to photograph. I cried at a joke...it was a funny joke, but I cried anyway.

I sit at this keyboard, crying even now, and my fingers stutter and can't find their marks. My brain can't find the words to send to them...words that should comfort my friends, who are hurting. It can't talk myself out of this fog that waxes and wanes, sometimes letting me feel warm sunshine, maybe for a second, but then comes crashing down and I hug myself to keep from falling over, and for warmth again, because it's hard to find it anywhere else.

If my husband were home from work, I'd be snuggled next to him in bed, crying, I know. He is my Rock. Even when he doesn't completely understand me or what I need, he makes every effort to do it anyway. I love him for that. I love him for loving me in all my imperfections and weirdness. Now I'm sad again for the loss that my dear friend's husband have lost...if only for this earthly life, it's still... so hard.

My husband went to the ER for chest pains the night we drove home from my cousin's wedding, and I was so so scared it would be something to take him away from me and our 6 children. My mind took that and ran which drove me to calling every several minutes for updates and imagining the worst inbetween.

Ends up, it's nothing they could see, but that doesn't matter. I'm still so worried to lose him. I know we're not to be tested above that we can bear, but I don't want to take that test. Maybe I can call in sick. He's my other half, but the good half, that sees in me what I don't. He has flaws, sure...but that's how he puts up with me. If he were perfect he'd go find someone better ;)

My heart hurts for this friend's family. It hurts over and over and sometimes it hurts so much I don't know how, because their's must be exploding. Why should I be *allowed* to hurt this much? It seems selfish. I'm not her child or husband. Or sister or aunty, or even best friend. She was my friend, oh yes. And I loved her. But I know I was not nearly as close to her as these others are, but why am I so heartbroken? I feel like I'm tresspassing on their grief.

Maybe it was because of the kind of person she was. Kylie was the most bright, fun, exubarant person I've ever know! She just oozed life! She absolutely adored her family and friends. She was giving and thoughtful...even amidst her own pain. It's not fair that this sun-shiny person had to be taken down to a point she felt she couldn't return from. It wasn't her. It wasn't her fault. That doesn't make it any simpler to understand, it really doesn't.

That's about all I can get out right now. :(

Guess where I went last weekend?

To some sort of place for my mental breakdown.

YUP. That's what ladies in my ward thought!!!!

I was at Enrichment and several sisters asked were I went, seeing how my neighbor saw me leaving with a suitcase and the baby Friday morning, and saying my mom (my parents came to church to help Eric with the kids in sacrament, but they stayed the whole block) told them I went away for some R & R. They thought I'd finally lost it! BWAHAHAHAHA!!! I really think they have been expecting it. They may even have a pool going.

When I did explain what I did, boy, were they ever JEALOUS! Especially the fact that I had 18 (-ish) friends to go with. I did explain to some that they were from my LDS mother's board...and one older lady said, "You mean from the In-ter-net? You went away with people you've never met before????" I was trying not to laugh "in her face", cuz that would be just rude! I explained how I'd known some for 8 years, and I'd met most of them already and that my hubby and I go on monthly dates with quite a few of them. She still looked wary, ROFL!!!

But Park City was so much fun...but I'm having serious withdrawals. Normal life is hard enough, but when you get to escape the sometimes tedious drudgery of motherhood/maid/chauffeur/cook etc, and have a MARVELOUS time with some of your bestest most wonderful friends anyone could ever dream up (No, older lady from Enrichment-They are not imaginary!) it's hard to come back from Nevernever Land! Seriously...people have pen pals, and *that's* not weird. Why are my wonderful Sistas any different?

They're better, actually! :)

False Sense of Security

It's over. That little peace you get when you mistakenly think you're slightly in control, or are "not doing so bad" in your daily life. *sigh*

In the last 2 weeks, Robbie(then followed by Allie, because I have no DOUBT the little stink taught his sister how) has learned how to:

a) climb out of his crib.

b) open doors, especially the front door to our unfenced yard.

c) climb over the child gate that keeps them corralled in the living room and relatively safe from doing *too much* damage. (At least, not anymore than they, or their preceding brothers have not already done.)

Crib Escape:
I've dreaded this day for MONTHS. It was never a fun thing with the other kids, knowing they were no longer secure and safe in their little beds at night, prompting many 2 am visits to mommy and daddy's bed.

Naps morphed into drives in the car until they conk out then hurry home and slip them in their beds before they wake. Nothing is worse than the 17 minute nap that was just enough to make them Mr. Crankmeister, and not able to fall back asleep at home.

With the twins, it's different. Infinitely harder. They have a buddy, just across the tiny room whom they can sing to, talk to, have jumping contests with(crib springs are bouncy!), throw books, pillows, blanket and sheets to. I witnessed that last one once... they exchanged bedding by stripping it off their beds and tossing it to the other's crib. It never made it in, but the receiver would reach through the bars, pick it up off the floor, and raise it to the top of the crib railing where they'd reach over with their other hand and pull it over. They both told each other "Dank you!" and were very proud of themselves. They also strip off their clothes so regularly that it's actually a surprise to find either with their clothes ON when they wake up. And if one has an idea, you KNOW, being toddlers, loving to copy, will follow suit.

So naps may be a thing of the past for these two muffins. Insanity for Mom in sues.

Opening Doors, or The Great Outdoors:
Before this month I could deny their curious little hands access to the bathroom, my bedroom, their brothers' bedroom, downstairs (aka the dungeon) and of course, keep them safe INSIDE.

But in recent weeks they've gotten into my makeup, colored in 12 keys on my black keyboard with a black permi marker (the letters have worn off from all my gabbing, but I still can't tell which is Ctrl and which is Alt.), eaten from 5-7 previuously unopened cereal boxes, gotten into numerous things the older boys are allowed to play with fairly unsupervised, but not the twins. Rubber stamps and ink pads, markers, watercolors, tiny puzzle pieces etc. And you know there's more...I just think I'm blocking it out.

And there is now a reason we regularly lock the deadbolt and chain across the top of the door (installed during our previous escape artist's rise to fame.). But that only works when actually LOCKED (did ya know that?) Our street isn't too busy, but with no sidewalks, and teenagers with big fat monster trucks who like to drag race our "strip"...and with 13 known sex offenders in a 2 mile radius...SHUDDER.

Last week during Spring Break (aka Holy Moo I have a lot of kids at home right now, where did they all come from and oh my gosh school is going to end soon and WHAT will I do with them then?) I *NEEDED* a shower... Wish I could say it was for a nice relaxing breather from the kids, but no...when you're watching 6 tiny children for roughly 90 hours straight by your lonesome(Dear hubby, you're working late AGAIN???), it's hard to squeeze in much personal hygiene time. Don't judge me. :P Normally I wait until my hubby *is* home, or when the twins are napping. (See previous mention of Crib Escapes!) I told the older 2 boys to play with the twins in the *locked gate* living room. I had also checked that the front door was dead bolted (but not chained). So I get out of my shower to hear shouts, followed by an unmistakable toddler's defiant "NO!" follow by you-can't-catch-me giggles coming from outside. I run to the window and see my oldest boys trying to get the twins to leave the big wheels/bikes in our backyard and come back in. I flipped out. Nothing like knowing your precious babies were outside in the big big world with all kinds of freaks while you were casually taking a shower to make a mom feel like dirt. scummy dirt. So much for that shower!

I yelled at the boys to catch them (they were trying) and ran for clothes. Couldn't very well run outside nekkid. That would really get the neighbors talking. And buying blinds.

By the time I had sufficient "coverage"and was at the front door, I was greeted by a wiggling, squirming Thing 1, and her brother struggling to keep a grip on her. (Never seen or done it, but I imagine it was similar to chasing and holding a greased piglet?) With them safely in, I went after Thing 2. That boy can RUN! Especially when he sees his drowned rat of a mama storming after him. He did giggle a lot. I think he thought I was playing "here comes the monster!"

Twins inside safe, chain on door. Collapse on floor. Turns out an annoying neighbor child who comes by our house every stinkin' day came by, and Jordan had unlocked the door to tell him No, they couldn't play. He forgot to deadbolt it again.

Where are those darn child safety knobs? Make note to go to Wally-World for anti-toddler mischief items.

The Straw that Broke Mommy's Back:
Our front door opens right into our living room, which is truly where we live. Since we bought the house when I was so wiped out sick pregnant with our 2nd child and needed to keep our oldest (9 months old when I got pregnant) next to me, Hubby Dear installed an AWESOME gate that attached to one side of the very wide entryway to the rest of the house (aka where all the fun stuff is, because being in here just stinks!) and swung out and locked on the other side. It's taller than average and has held up for 8 years and counting. It especially gets a lot of abuse from older siblings to lazy too unlock and re lock the gate so they climb over it constantly.

Yeah, well. This last Wednesday I watched in horror as 2 yr old Robbie scaled Mt. Freedom and laughed with some sort of evil laugh and probably mumbled something about how we couldn't keep him caged forever, and now he was free, free, FREE, I tell ya-to run amok in the rest of the house. (btw, my house is in a constant state of messiness, no matter what I try, but that just adds to the excitement of some sort of jungle safari for the kids. Bwah.)

I actually honestly whimpered.

I believe opening the fridge and removing all contents is next on their to-do list.

They are coming after me...my sanity. I have been outnumbered for several years now, but occasionally, I was under the false impression that I was actually still in some form of control of the chaos that swirls around in my house only to have it turn into a 2 ton elephant and come crashing through the ceiling.

Dramatic much? Um, I don't think so. Spend a day in my house and you will think I was being too understated. It's more like a brontosaurs.